Why I Choose Silence
by PammieOmana
Summary: What if Sheldon choose to keep his feelings towards Amy to himself and let Stuart get his girl-friend? Will their relationship of the mind change? This story is inspired by episode 5x10 The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition. Wait for the next chapter within this week
1. Chapter 1

**Hi readers, this is my first time to write a fanfiction. I hope you like this story of mine. This story was inspired by the episode 5x10 "The _Flaming Spittoon_ Acquisition"**

**Why I choose silence**

Silence. It is defined as the absence of noise, solace, stillness and loneliness.

Have you ever experienced choosing between telling the truth and silence? Once Amy Farrah Fowler told me that I talk, think and worry too much, one thing she didn't know that in spite of me talking, thinking and worrying too much, there's one thing I'm not telling her, one thing I choose to keep in silence.

You can never find someone like Amy, someone as smart, energetic, and insightful person like her. She made me motivated in my work as a theoretical physicist as we exchange ideas about science and anything that catches our attention. She made me more open-minded and liberated about social conventions making me more "human" because they said that I acted like a robot. She never fails to make me see things in a different sense. In short, she is someone, as adjectives can't exactly describe.

We really had a good chemistry and to maintain the continuity of this great companionship and we both agreed to have a relationship of the mind-a relationship that will nurture and develop our minds with the help of each other. We talk about everything. We have a neat schedule of everything, from our daily video chat, tweeting, exchanging messages and occasional visit to the zoo. God knows I learned a lot from her and I am positive that she also acquires new ideas and information from me.

She really is a great charmer, as I have mentioned I have never encounter a woman like Amy. She can be charming in many ways. As for me, I was charmed by her intelligence and wit. But there was an incident that Stuart, the guy from the comic book store fell for her without her intention. I cannot fail to recall my initial reaction when my friends jested about Stuart asking Amy to go on a date with him. Of course it was ok with me. It was FINE with me, because I don't own Amy; I can't own a person, right?

But hours had passed. I tried to focus my mind in an equation that I am trying to solve, trying to get the image of Stuart having fun with my friend Amy out of my mind. I tried so hard not to think what happened in their date. Did Amy enjoy Stuart's company?

I tried my best to find the answer for what I was feeling that time. I cannot fathom why I was curious about their date. Why I can't get those thoughts out of my mind. I need answers! I must find an answer to this emotion bothering me right now. I spent hours researching on the internet but still: no answer for me. After I felt the need to sleep, I laid down on my bed and try to calm my mind. I tried my best to concentrate in sleeping but sleep eluded me.

Days had passed, I still can't find an answer. As days passed by, I continue to be very observant about her. Since we have this unique relationship, we continue our daily schedule and routines. We still video chat, exchange messages and dine with our friends together.

One night I got a chance to ask Amy. I know she is a neurobiologist and I took a shot to ask her about what I am feeling. I am confident she can give me a very satisfying answer. We discussed my problem thru Skype. I was hesitant to open my dilemma to her, but as a man of science, I presented it in a formal manner. She listened intently and took some notes while I was talking. When I was done presenting my problem, she was silent for a while. I was trying to read her expression but I can't. Oh good Lord, I am a genius but why can't I read this woman's body language.

While I was deep in my thought about reading her actions, She formally gave her explanation. I was nervous. I don't know why I was nervous. Then my hand started to shake, feeling clammy at the same time. I took a deep breath and was surprised to hear her simple explanation.

" to put it simple, you are in love Sheldon. All the things that you said to me were indications that you are having a special feeling for someone"

well that is the first part of this story, I know sheldon was OOC here. I apologized to all the SHAMY fans out there. But i will try my best to write better. This is my first time to write a fanfic, and i am very happy because it is a SHAMY story! =))

so please, be a lamb and review my work. I am not afraid of flames, but I HOPE you will be very gentle to me... remember.. first timer... =)


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for the kind reviews that i got. Believe me, It made me inspired to write more. I am taking your reviews seriously and I decided to make it a long story. Yey! Goodluck to me!**

**I am struggling to write better, but forgive me if If have errors especially with the tense that I used. I NEED A BETA READER! =)**

**Hopefully I can publish the 3rd chapter of this tomorrow, after my work at school. That chapter will be in Amy's POV... so i hope you enjoy this... =))**

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"To put it simple, you are in love Sheldon. All the things that you said to me were indications that you are having a special feeling for someone"

Me? In love? With someone? And…with Amy? This is preposterous! How can that happen? We were very careful in handling this special relationship. We even established a very concise parameter on how this relationship will go. We were vocal about not engaging in any kind of attachment but of the intellectual level. Oh dear Lord!

Listening to what Amy just said made me feel more uneasy. There was a sudden rush of emotion I can't contain. Why am I feeling this? I should not be affected by it, right? It was just her own explanation. Maybe…maybe if I consult this dilemma with other people or if I can find a book that could answer this, then her conclusion will be flouted with a scientific and more accurate explanation.

But I should suppress it. I don't want Amy to have a hint of what I have in my mind. I know there's chaos going on inside my brain. But then again, I should control myself. I should keep calm. Must act that I was not affected by what she said.

I was so into this strange feeling that I almost forgot about Amy. I looked up on the screen and saw her frowning. She was silent and just staring at the screen too. This situation made me speechless. Honestly, I don't know what to say to her. This was the time that I should be in control of my feelings. Sheldon, you are the master of your own emotion. _No one, nothing can dictate what you are going to feel._ I released a deep sigh and prepared myself to say something. I cleared my throat and when I was about to open my mouth to proceed with our conversation, she asked me something.

"Sheldon, I know we have this special kind relationship that doesn't concern us with our personal issue… but, do you mind if I give you an advice?"

I was startled. I don't know what would be my response to her offer. I want to assent it but I am not comfortable.. I'm not ready to hear what she's going to say.

"No, I don't need your advice." I said it right away. I was avoiding eye contact with her. "I was just asking you to interpret and conclude something based on the situation that I presented to you. I greatly appreciate your concern but I guess we must try to focus on more important things in life" I tried my best to put on my koala face. I know she would see me through it but I don't care, I can't face her like this. She should not see Sheldon Lee Cooper acting strange because of this feeling.

"It's ok, I know I shouldn't say that," She smiled, got her coffee mug and drank from it. She turned her face on the screen again and opened a new topic for us to talk about.

"Sheldon, does it interest you if I am going to update you about my thriving social life?" She was beaming when she said that. I can clearly see it.

"Well, we've been friends for a year now, I'm used to this Bestie's chronicles that you usually tell me. All the things that you do with Penny and Bernadette, Those pillow fights and twisters games you enjoyed playing…" I was still talking about their crazy and weird activities when she cuts me off.

"No, no, no, no" She said it while laughing. Her hands were so busy twirling some strands of her tresses like what penny usually do when she did something bad to me. I just looked at her.

"It's not about Penny nor Bernadette" I swear, she was really beaming. I never see her like this before without Penny as our topic. I think Amy was drunk..

"Then what is it?" I asked.

She leaned closer to the computer screen, and whispered "It's about Stuart" then flashed a very wide smile.

There was a long pause. I don't know how to react about it. I am used to our usual chat wherein we talked about the progress of our research, our new discovery that we found on the internet. That was the kind of conversation I want myself to engage with, not like this. To make it worse, it's about Stuart. This kind of topic will never nurture our intellect.

"Sheldon, are you ill? I was talking to you but I think you cannot concentrate with our conversation." She seemed concerned about me.

I looked at her again, thinking of a way to evade this topic. I don't think I can continue talking to her. Then something popped in my head. I suddenly looked down, and press my fingers to my temple.

"I think I am having a migraine." I lied. I know I am not good in lying, but desperate time calls for desperate measure. I just confidently lied to make her stop to talk about Stuart. "I should adjust the contrast of my computer screen"

"Then I am afraid we should end our scheduled video chat in advance. Try to rest for a while, maybe your eyes were just strained"

"Yeah" I said sheepishly. "I just need to rest for a while because I have a schedule to go to the train store at 5 p.m."

"Ok. Goodbye Sheldon." The tone of her voice was different. Was it sad? Worried? I don't know, because I was much focused looking down avoiding her gaze, and it's also part of my lie.

"Goodbye Amy Farrah Fowler" then I logged out

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So that was the second part of Sheldon's POV . Please review my work, I really need some great suggestions to...=)


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